THE CLOCK WATCHES ME - about the lyrics

Today I will address another song that was featured on the Kindness and Lies EP. "The Clock Watches Me" was actually written several years ago and early renditions were executed with mine and Niki's previous project, Bad Kissers. I wrote this when I was about 21 years old I believe. It was easily translated into a newer version, and its subject matter (another coming-of-age lament) made it a shoe-in for the Kindness and Lies record.

THE CLOCK WATCHES ME

So here we are - stuck in this place

This time, this space, with no way to escape

We're at that age, we thought we'd never reach

Submerged, and left with a choice to fight or sink.

I need some distraction, some hope to take action -

something just to make today alright

Yesterday means nothing, tomorrow is uncertain

and the magic that I trusted was just some man behind a curtain.

Where is my somewhere over the rainbow -

what happened to "when I grow up?"

Why do I stand around waiting for something?

When is my time supposed to come?

I wanna know why the clock watches me -

and why can't I cry on command?

I wanna know what the future might bring -

but I'm hung up on yesterday's demands.

Staring at you on the inside - but I can't even look you in the eye

Wonder what would happen if I kissed you right now -

could it postpone the day that I die?

Let this be my 20-something anthem. Launched into adulthood; clutching in one hand the enthusiasm for newfound freedoms - in the other hand, the weight of adult obligations and consequences. I reflect on varying degrees of responsibility and desires during this transition - escapism, motivation, coping and loss. (For myself, The Wizard of Oz was an influential movie as I grew up - and I use it for metaphor in this song).

Childlike reactions and perspectives suddenly seem a less effective way to deal with life. Mortality breathes a harsher breath on our necks.

It is as if we are made of clay that is being shaped half from ideals, half from the elements. Forming and solidifying in random places - we are somewhat cracking and brittle, partially soft and slipping over our own edges. Terrified and mesmerized - we face the first signs of age that have committed to us.

But not all doom and gloom! These explorations don't just lead to a harsh conclusion. There is a soft and young spirit held safe within our firming frames. The last lines of the song capture this with the most concentration - the curious, charming introversion. The longing of love and the strength it perpetuates.

xo.

-Ash